Sophomore wisdom, Pianin style

7 May

Note that this is after we left Dive Bar for Spec dinner-ish and spent some time in the office, then in Linda’s suite, where Dan danced the night away (shaboom shaboom, anyone?). More on that later.

So here is Alix’s sophomore wisdom. She is eating popcorn now. And full credit to Bwog for the form. Thanks!

Name, School: Alix Quinn Pianin, BC ’11

Claim to fame: I did nothing, but think I warrant your attention.

Post-grad plans: I’m going to live in a box for some time with Peter Labuza, and wander the streets for awhile.

Favorite study spot? Butler. butler butler butler. My eyes melt out of my head.

What are three things you learned at Columbia?

1. How to get free food.

2. [Redacted]’s hair is a hairpiece.

3. A lot of people drink. A lot of people don’t drink. It takes a malted 40 to bring them together. But even that doesn’t last.

Justify your existence in 30 words or less. Avenger of the redheads, stealing the carrot top thunder from [redacted redhead].

What was your favorite controversy in your time at Columbia? The mere existence of [redacted administrator].

But, I digress. Really, I enjoyed being accused of [redacted] with my sources! (;-) [redacted student council acronym])

Any battle wounds/war stories from the War on Fun? Hey, remember that Spec dinner where the off-campus war on fun got us down? [Redacted, deputy, teddy bear] got thrown out of dive bar. Now I’m eating popcorn and not drunk.

Would you rather permanently give up oral sex or cheese? Cheese is really important to me, is the thing. The other day I had $17 in my bank account to buy food with. I bought two things of pasta sauce, two things of spaghetti, and cheese. I would not give up the cheese no matter what. I was like, if I don’t have the cheese, I’m not going to eat this pasta. So I can’t give up cheese. Oh well.

What do you wish you could tell the Class of 2013 before they come here? Stock up on sleep like a camel and carry it with you in your sleep hump.

Regrets? The few times I did go to class.


3 Responses to “Sophomore wisdom, Pianin style”

  1. Zlogg May 7, 2009 at 7:09 pm #

    So much censorship, yet my name remains.

    • bookishjoy May 7, 2009 at 7:10 pm #

      Only because you can take it like a man.

  2. Elizabeth May 9, 2009 at 10:34 pm #

    This is so so funny. 🙂

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